Trauma, Tantrums, and Emotional Rollercoasters: A Crash Course in Feeling Too Much

Trauma,tantrums and emotional roller coasters: a crash course in feeling too much

Let’s talk emotions—big ones, messy ones, the kind that make you want to scream into a pillow or crawl under the covers and hope nobody notices you there. Ever wondered why some people seem to handle life’s chaos with the grace of a Zen monk, while others spiral into a Category 5 emotional hurricane? Spoiler alert: trauma and brain chemistry might have a lot to say about that.

Today, we’re diving into a few juicy topics: PTSD vs. C-PTSD, the emotional regulation (or lack thereof) in people with BPD, and why your brain sometimes feels like it’s sabotaging you. Buckle up—it’s going to get nerdy and maybe a little sassy.

PTSD vs. C-PTSD: Same Drama, Different Flavor

You’ve probably heard of PTSD—it’s the big, scary diagnosis tied to traumatic events like car accidents, combat, or that one time you texted someone ‘you too’ when they said “happy birthday.” But then there’s C-PTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is less about a single horrifying event and more about the slow, relentless grind of chronic trauma. Think emotional neglect, abusive relationships, or growing up with a parent who thought “constructive criticism” meant pointing out everything you did wrong.

Here’s the kicker: while PTSD is all about re-experiencing the event(flashbacks, nightmares, jumpiness), C-PTSD is more like emotional quicksand. It can leave you with a fragmented sense of self, difficulties with relationships, and a perpetual inner voice that whispers, “You’re probably the problem.” Fun times, right?

Oh, and in case you were wondering why your therapist is banging on about C-PTSD but it’s missing from your psych report—it’s because C-PTSD lives in the ICD-11 (an international diagnostic manual) but not the DSM-5 (America’s rulebook for mental health). Apparently, America’s still deciding if it’s invited to the trauma party.

Emotional Tantrums: BPD Edition

Now let’s switch gears and talk about the emotional rollercoaster that is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you’ve ever seen someone go from zero to throwing chairsin the time it takes to say “calm down,” you might have witnessed emotional dysregulation at work.

Here’s the science-y bit: people with BPD have an overactive amygdala, aka the drama queen of the brain. The amygdala processes emotions, and in BPD, it’s like someone turned the volume dial up to 11. This means that what might feel like a “meh” moment for you can feel like a full-blown catastrophe to them.

So, what’s the secret to helping someone mid-tantrum? Validation. I know, I know—your first instinct might be to hit them with logic, but trust me, that’ll backfire faster than you can say “chill out.” A simple “I get why you’re upset” does wonders for calming the storm. Validation is like the emotional equivalent of a weighted blanket—comforting, grounding, and far more effective than yelling “relax!” from across the room.

The Fight Response: When Survival Looks Like Anger

Let’s talk about fight mode. You know, the part of your brain that says, “Punch first, ask questions later.” When the brain perceives a threat, the fight response kicks in to defend you. It might be useful when facing a charging bear, but not so much when your “threat” is a passive-aggressive email or a friend who took the last slice of pizza.

For people with unresolved trauma, the fight response can become their go-to move, even when there’s no actual danger. This is why some people seem like they’re always on edge or ready to argue over the smallest things—it’s not about the situation; it’s about their nervous system being stuck in hyper-alert mode.

Here’s a wild fact: anger in fight mode isn’t really about aggression—it’s about fear in disguise. Underneath that yelling or defensive posture is often someone who feels vulnerable and doesn’t know how to say, “I’m scared.” So, the next time someone snaps at you, try to remember: their inner bear is probably overreacting to a threat that isn’t there. Doesn’t mean you have to take the abuse, but hey, perspective helps.

So, Why Does This Matter?

Whether we’re talking about PTSD, C-PTSD, or BPD, the common thread is that trauma and brain wiring have a huge impact on how we regulate our emotions. It’s not about being “weak” or “dramatic”; it’s about having a brain that’s been rewired by experiences, often without your permission.

So the next time someone throws a tantrum, picks a fight, or seems like they’re stuck in the past, maybe take a step back and think about what might be happening under the surface. And if all else fails, throw some validation their way—it might just save you (and them) from a meltdown.

Emotions are messy, trauma is messy, and honestly, life is just messy. But hey, if we can laugh about it—and maybe learn a fun fact or two along the way—it feels a little less overwhelming, doesn’t it?

Your move, amygdala.

#bpd #emotionalregulation #cptsd #ptsd #trauma #traumahealing #emotionalregulation